In the hairsprayed mists of New Wave's Golden Era, I pursued radio stations where I could listen nonstop to Siouxsie & the Banshees, the Lotus Eaters, The Clash, The Cure, The Ramones, the-what-have-yous.
In college I pursued flat ones (in my Literature subjects, at least) and the poetic muse. Soon thereafter, in the labor force, I pursued good pay, fun officemates, creative environments, dollar-compensated consultancies, good books, sidelines.
Once married, I pursued the obstetrician, the pediatrician, the toddler ambling towards the gate, the same toddler about to pop a toy into his mouth, and another squishy, squirming infant trying to wriggle from his bath.
So why not pursue God this time, indeed?
It took a 62-year-old book to nudge me onto this track.
Aiden W. Tozer's "The Pursuit of God: The Human Thirst for the Divine" has been my midnight companion for three nights now (though unfortunately, not three consecutive nights). Still, each time I finished a chapter--vaguely anticipatory, barely conscious of a rising hope and excitement within me--I had the strangest, most delightful sensation that God was just getting started with me.
So here I am, getting ready for the fourth chapter tomorrow.
And all this running after has driven me to thirst for more. But this thirst, while enlivening me and egging me on, does not carry with it the sour edge of envy, nor the bitter aftertaste of regret, and not even the utter blandness of self-pity, nor any of the negative emotions that accompany unhealthy thirsts.
The spirit within me knows--this thirst is good. The pursuit of its quenching, better. The One who alone can quench: the best.
Let's drink up this Holy Week, shall we?
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Good thing God let David rant almost as much as he raved...
...because otherwise, we might end up being scared of basic, heart-deep honesty before the God of truth, who doesn't change His mind and can never lie.
Times when we're flat-out scared. Or trying to hide our flaming hot red faces after realizing we have done something that a kind or wise person would not do. Or simply feeling low and needing a Father to say, Come here, child, sit beside me and rest your head on My shoulder. I have all the time that Eternity can hold.
Then, too, honesty is just as important when we're in foot-stomping, fist-clenching mode.
"This is just so unfair!"
"You did what???"
"I was first in line. Three hours ago. And this guy's trying to butt in."
And then there are times when our most eloquent speech is distilled into a sigh and a defeated shoulder shrug. Or into a worldess cry that echoes painfully from the depths of our souls.
He would understand. Because He sighed when He saw His Son tired. Divine eyes wept holy tears as His Son drew final breaths.
Then again, because David did rave, too, we can confidently eschew false dignity and bloated self-importance and simply jump and dance when heaven has given us reason to do so.
Such as when, after a with-bated-breath look, a pregnancy test stick finally shows the shy pink second line. Or a relative stranger looks you straight in the eye and shakes your clammy hand as she says, "Congratulations, you're hired!". Or with sheer abandon you give a totally unselfconscious hug to someone you've hurt before, and with whom you have now made peace.
Look for those moments this week.
Whether you feel like sighing, stamping or singing, know that your most intimate audience of One is never shocked or surprised, just all eyes and ears. Always.
Times when we're flat-out scared. Or trying to hide our flaming hot red faces after realizing we have done something that a kind or wise person would not do. Or simply feeling low and needing a Father to say, Come here, child, sit beside me and rest your head on My shoulder. I have all the time that Eternity can hold.
Then, too, honesty is just as important when we're in foot-stomping, fist-clenching mode.
"This is just so unfair!"
"You did what???"
"I was first in line. Three hours ago. And this guy's trying to butt in."
And then there are times when our most eloquent speech is distilled into a sigh and a defeated shoulder shrug. Or into a worldess cry that echoes painfully from the depths of our souls.
He would understand. Because He sighed when He saw His Son tired. Divine eyes wept holy tears as His Son drew final breaths.
Then again, because David did rave, too, we can confidently eschew false dignity and bloated self-importance and simply jump and dance when heaven has given us reason to do so.
Such as when, after a with-bated-breath look, a pregnancy test stick finally shows the shy pink second line. Or a relative stranger looks you straight in the eye and shakes your clammy hand as she says, "Congratulations, you're hired!". Or with sheer abandon you give a totally unselfconscious hug to someone you've hurt before, and with whom you have now made peace.
Look for those moments this week.
Whether you feel like sighing, stamping or singing, know that your most intimate audience of One is never shocked or surprised, just all eyes and ears. Always.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
"Behold...I make all things new."
...And because God proves it daily (have you ever seen completely identical cloud formations, for one?), then I can have hope that today is a fresh start for me.
Like, having all but abandoned this blog for over a year, I now find myself with a new child, a new job, a new nanny, even a newfound excitement about blogging.
Why not take this simple exercise when you're feeling depressed
and desperate about something...
1. What's the worst thing that can happen if this doesn't change, say, in a week's time? After a month?
2. If I could actually change one thing about this situation, what would I want to change? Why?
3. If No. 1 isn't doable at this point, what could I actually change for now?
4. Setting aside 1, 2, and 3...What can I change about the way I see this situation, or the way I feel about it?
To guide you through number 4, take note of this piece of wisdom:
"...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."*
Maybe the situation isn't all bad; perhaps you are seeing only part of the truth about it. Perhaps it is serving a purpose you will begin to see more clearly with the passing of time. Maybe the other person (there's usually bound to be someone involved) is changing in some way, presently imperceptible to you, but in the fullness of reality, definitely occurring. Or it may simply be a case of focusing too much on one the thing that is not right, and ignoring everything else that is actually working and running.
When all is said and done, the best place to start the change is in our own minds and hearts.
*Philippians 4:8 (NIV)
Like, having all but abandoned this blog for over a year, I now find myself with a new child, a new job, a new nanny, even a newfound excitement about blogging.
Why not take this simple exercise when you're feeling depressed
and desperate about something...
1. What's the worst thing that can happen if this doesn't change, say, in a week's time? After a month?
2. If I could actually change one thing about this situation, what would I want to change? Why?
3. If No. 1 isn't doable at this point, what could I actually change for now?
4. Setting aside 1, 2, and 3...What can I change about the way I see this situation, or the way I feel about it?
To guide you through number 4, take note of this piece of wisdom:
"...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."*
Maybe the situation isn't all bad; perhaps you are seeing only part of the truth about it. Perhaps it is serving a purpose you will begin to see more clearly with the passing of time. Maybe the other person (there's usually bound to be someone involved) is changing in some way, presently imperceptible to you, but in the fullness of reality, definitely occurring. Or it may simply be a case of focusing too much on one the thing that is not right, and ignoring everything else that is actually working and running.
When all is said and done, the best place to start the change is in our own minds and hearts.
*Philippians 4:8 (NIV)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)